英语文章阅读：打孩子到底不对在哪里？

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Is Spanking Children an Effective Consequence?
大家都知道打孩子不对，但是到底不对在哪里，你能用英语写篇文章说明：1、家长为什么会打孩子；2、打孩子到底不对在哪里？；3、给出“打孩子”的替代方案与建议。

Spanking is a widely debated topic. Most experts advise against using corporal punishment, but some parents believe that spanking is an effective discipline strategy.

Other parents admit they have occasionally spanked their child—especially when they were feeling overly stressed. Whichever camp they belong to, all parents need to know and closely consider the potential consequences of physical punishment, including spanking.

Reasons Parents Spank

Sometimes, parents spank their children out of desperation. When kids frequently misbehave, parents may feel as though they are at the end of their rope and aren’t sure what else to do. Parents in these situations might say, “Nothing else seems to work.”

Without a consistent discipline strategy, it might feel like spanking is the best option. While spanking may alter behavior in the short-term, it rarely has a positive effect in the long term. Studies have shown that spanking is ineffective and has detrimental consequences on child development.1

Parents may rely on spanking to "fix" behavior problems without trying alternative discipline strategies—or giving those options enough time to work.

Another common reason parents spank is out of exasperation, impulse, or anger. A parent who reacts out of frustration ("I can't believe you just did that!") might spank a child without thinking.

If you don't know how else to discipline your child, spanking might become the first line of defense. While it might feel like a solution at the moment, spanking won't solve the problem or teach your child better behavior.

Many parents later regret striking their children. Spanking can also cause lasting damage to the parent-child relationship.

Cultural Factors

Various cultural groups have historically held the belief that spanking is part of their upbringing and cultural background. However, the negative impact remains the same. Also, corporal punishment habits are the residual impact of colonialism that has been adopted by many cultural groups.

"Colonialism brought these domineering parenting practices to our cultures," says Leslie Priscilla Arreola-Hillenbrand, a parent coach and founder of LatinxParenting. "This isn’t a part of our collective DNA. There is some historical evidence of Black and Brown families being engaged with corporal punishment. However, colonialism brought many of those strategies."

Is Spanking a Child Ever OK?
The Problems With Spanking
In addition to being an inadequate solution to behavioral problems, spanking a child can actually create more problems. The following are a few reasons spanking does not work to change a child's behavior.

It Doesn't Teach Appropriate Behavior
A child who gets spanked for arguing with their sibling won't learn how to get along better in the future. Effective discipline teaches a child new skills and builds their competency and confidence. Spanking degrades trust and self-confidence, while only teaching a child what not to do.

It Models Aggression
Children do what parents do more than what they say. If you spank your child for hitting their sibling, for example, you're sending a confusing message. Studies have linked the experience of getting spanked to more aggressive behavior, mental health conditions, and other detrimental outcomes for the child (similar to the impact of being physically abused).2

It Creates Shame
If they have been struck by a parent, a child might think, "I'm bad," and struggle with self-esteem, trust, and mental health issues. Children feeling shame are not motivated to improve their behavior and begin to feel that they cannot do better.2

Hitting a child to modify their behavior tells them that they can't learn in a more positive way and don't deserve to be treated respectfully. Gentler discipline techniques are more effective while also building a kid's self-confidence.

It Shifts Focus to Parent's Behavior
Instead of helping your child think about what they could do better next time, spanking is more likely to make them angry at their parent. Kids in this situation begin to think in terms of “What can I do that won’t get me a spanking?” instead of “What’s the best choice I can make right now?” The spanking-avoidance dynamic can also encourage lying.

It Loses Effectiveness Over Time
Sometimes, kids decide the misbehavior is “worth it.” They might even get "used to" corporal punishment, in which case it stops being a deterrent. A more effective discipline strategy includes understanding the reason for the behavior and having that conversation with the child in an authentic and open way. Punishment is about inflicting discomfort or pain, while discipline is about teaching and guiding.

It Doesn't Work for Older Kids and Teens
If you have always used spanking to discipline your child, what will you do when they become a teen? Using physical punishment teaches kids that it's OK for the stronger person to hurt someone who does something that they don't like. Spanking employs shame and pain to discourage and punish rather than dealing with the root of the child's behavior.1

It's Not Doctor Recommended
According to a 2018 survey of pediatricians published in the journal Pediatrics, only 6% of the doctors surveyed endorsed spanking. Only 2.5% anticipated positive outcomes from the use of the discipline practice.3 There are plenty of age-appropriate discipline strategies that you can use as an alternative to spanking throughout your child’s life.

Alternatives to Spanking

Many discipline strategies are more effective than spanking.3 You will want to consider alternative negative consequences that will reinforce your rules without hurting your child, such as removing privileges.

If your child colors on the walls, a logical consequence would be to have them wash the walls. This teaches them to have more respect for property. It also sends the message that their misbehavior will have consequences.

Restitution helps restore relationships and gives children the chance to learn new skills. The technique can be very effective for aggressive behavior and works well for children and teens of all ages.

Using praise to encourage positive behavior is another effective alternative to spanking. When you catch your child "doing good," make sure they know that you noticed. Kids tend to perform to parents' expectations. It is important that children's sense of self is not lost in parental expectations. Children need to develop a sense of pride in their own behavioral choices that is based on internal motivation, rather than external approval.

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Spanking is one of the most widely debated parenting topics. While most pediatricians and parenting experts don't recommend spanking,1 the vast majority of parents around the world admit to spanking their kids. For many parents, spanking can feel like the fastest and most effective way to change a child's behavior. And it often works in the short-term. But, studies show corporal punishment has long-term consequences for kids. If you're looking for alternative to spanking, here are eight ways to discipline your child without using physical punishment.

1、Time-Out
There are lots of ways to discipline kids without spanking them.

Hitting kids for misbehavior (especially aggression) sends a mixed message. Your child will wonder why it's OK for you to hit them, but not OK for them to hit their sibling. Placing a child in time-out can be a much better alternative.1 When done correctly, time-out teaches kids how to calm themselves down, which is a useful life skill.

But in order for a time-out to be effective, kids need to have plenty of positive time-in with their parents. Then, when they're removed from a situation, they will begin to learn to self-regulate, appropriately express their emotions, and make different choices in the future.

2、Losing Privileges
The goal is not to punish your child into submission, but to help them learn to make better choices for the future. This takes practice, however. If they make a poor choice, teach them the consequence is a loss of a privilege. The loss should be related to the behavior.

Make it clear when the privileges can be earned back. Usually, 24 hours is long enough to teach your child to learn from their mistake. So you might say, "You've lost TV for the rest of the day, but you can earn it back tomorrow by picking up your toys the first time I ask."

3、Ignoring Mild Misbehavior
Selective ignoring can actually be more effective than spanking.1 This doesn’t mean you should look the other way if your child is doing something dangerous or inappropriate. But you can ignore attention-seeking behavior.

When your child tries to get attention by whining or complaining, don’t give it to them. Look the other way, pretend you can't hear them and don't respond. Then, when they ask nicely or behave, return your attention to them. Over time, they will learn that polite behavior is the best way to get their needs met.  

4、Teaching New Skills
One of the main problems with spanking is that it doesn’t teach your child how to behave better. Spanking your child because they threw a temper tantrum won't teach them how to calm down the next time they are upset.

Kids benefit from learning how to problem-solve, manage their emotions and compromise. When parents teach these skills, it can greatly reduce behavior problems. Use discipline that is aimed at teaching, not punishing.

5、Logical Consequences
Logical consequences are a great way to help kids who are struggling with specific behavior problems. Logical consequences are specifically tied to the misbehavior.

For example, if your child doesn’t eat their dinner, don’t let them have a bedtime snack. Or if they refuse to pick up their trucks, don’t allow them to play with them for the rest of the day. Linking the consequence directly to the behavior problem helps kids see that their choices have direct consequences.

6、Natural Consequences
Natural consequences allow children to learn from their own mistakes. For example, if your child says they are not going to wear a jacket, let them go outside and get cold—as long as it's safe to do so. Use natural consequences when you think your child will learn from their own mistake. Monitor the situation to ensure that your child won't experience any real danger.

7、Rewards for Good Behavior
Instead of spanking a child for misbehavior, reward him for good behavior. For example, if your child fights with their siblings often, set up a reward system to motivate them to get along better.

Providing an incentive to behave can turn around misbehavior fast. Rewards help kids to focus on what they need to do to earn privileges, rather than emphasize the bad behavior they're supposed to avoid.

8、Praise for Good Behavior
Prevent behavior problems by catching your child being good.1 For example, when they are playing nicely with their siblings, point it out. Say, “You are doing such a good job sharing and taking turns today.”

When there are several children in the room, give the most attention and praise to the children who are following the rules and behaving well. Then, when the other child begins to behave, give them praise and attention as well.

A Word from expert

The goal of discipline should be to teach your child new skills that will give them the tools necessary to be a responsible adult.3 Research shows that spanking is not an effective discipline strategy and has negative consequences—some of which can be lifelong.

When determining which discipline strategies to use, think about what you hope your child will gain from your intervention. Strategies like praise reward your child's positive behavior and build their confidence.

远山青

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